Milk and (Lactation) Cookies
Guys. Breastfeeding is HARD. Never in a million years would I have thought breastfeeding would be such an "emotional rollercoaster" as my pal Christine so eloquently put it. In the back of mind I knew there would be a chance breastfeeding may not happen for me due to having a breast reduction about ten years ago. Having said that, my plastic surgeon assured me that it shouldn't be a problem down the line, noting if I regained nipple sensation there was a good chance I'd be able to nurse. So, cautiously optimistic was the name of the game. I researched both breast + formula, not getting my hopes up too high, choosing a formula and buying nursing accessories {gown, pads, lanolin}. About a week and a half after Owen was born he still hadn't goten back to birth weight so our pediatrician suggested I pump, and if I yielded less than an ounce I'd need to supplement. So I pumped (most insurances now give you a free pump, holla!), got maybe a half ounce, told Mark to go get formula and gave Owen his first bottle (the hospital sent us home with some just in case, which was a godsend) and sobbed as he ate.
I tried fenugreek. Gor a prescription for Reglan. Owen and I went to occupational therapy (Elisa is the best) and I was put on a nurse/pump schedule which was rigid, to say the least. I would nurse for as long as he'd like on both sides, pass the baby off to Mark to supplement the rest with formula and I would pump. Repeat for every feeding. I was eager to try anything, clearly. After three visits and despite medication (horrid side effects, horrid) + fenugreek cocktail, my supply just wasn't enough to exclusively breastfeed, so I dropped the pumping -- nursing on both sides then supplementing the rest. And that worked for us. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't devastated, but amidst my pity party, I realized I had the best of both worlds. A baby who would latch and feed without issue and the ability for my husband to assist in feedings which he happily accepted. Gradually the sadness faded, due to the constant and unwavering support of my family/friends/physicians and mostly, because I finally gave myself the grace, thanking God for the ability to even do so, coming to the realization that I did everything I could within my power, be at peace with not breastfeeding exclusively, and stopping to savor those sweet moments we did bond while he nursed (for three month, praise Jesus!!).
Enough real talk.
Onto the (lactation) cookies!
Every recipe I've tried of Jessica's hasn't disappointed and these cookies were no exception. I whipped these babies up and froze them making it super easy to bake on demand, sourcing the ingredients on a delirious sleep deprived trip to Whole Foods because, bulk bins are the bees knees. They didn't have brewers yeast (added 7 TBSP that didn't sacrifice the flavors at all!) so I had to fork over $$ for a canister. Bought my favorite chocolate chips, and used home made vanilla extract.