Commando: Assessing the situation

Funny story, Hilarious. Had to share.

Yesterday we went shopping for gear for our honeymoon (more on that soon!) and happened upon a stellar sale -- fleece? check. Winter coat (for Mark)? Check. I spied some snow pants and ran off to the fitting room to give them a go. Tried on the first pair. They fit, but were pretty baggy so I gave the second pair (a size smaller) a go. They fit. Then, I realized I'd be in the snow frolicking about and pondered if the one's that fit would be too binding, so I asked Mark, who asked the salesman, who walked over to me to assess the situation.

Scene: a fitting room open space, less than two feet from one another.

Salesman: are they baggy? 
Me: no, these fit better than the others
Salesman: (something about base layers)
Me: What?
Salesman: What are you wearing under the snow pants?
Me: Nothing. (annoyed he ask such a personal question but oversharer enough to divulge)
Salesman: YOU DON'T HAVE ON PANTS UNDERNEATH?!?! (insert horror face emoji)
Me: No....
Salesman: Go put pants on, then decide. You'll be wearing pants underneath your snow pants.
Me: (insert horror face emoji)

And of course the poor salesman was uber uncomfortable and Mark was uber confused at our exchange and my horror, till I told him I went commando under my snow pants (because hello, they are pants!) and he almost peed himself laughing at me. 

Jerk.

Who knew you needed to wear a base layer to try on snow pants?!?!

Please tell me I'm am not alone in my utter winter sport ignorance.