Come on in, it's cozy inside - PROMISE. While you're here go  Single White Female stalker mode take a peek around my little piece of blog nirvana. Notice anything different? 

It's OK, I'll wait, while you look...

What's that you say? My blog has been updated in ways SO awesome you're mumbling and drooling? 

Green is not your color honey - 

I'll let you in a little NOT a secret secret.  Holly, this fabulous blogger mamacita  I blog stalk incessantly and call her my bestie cuz we both live in St. Louis and combat ass dimples  is married to "Chris", whose blog is named "Hubby Jack", but since I can't remember anyone's name like to mix things up, dubbed him "Holly's Husband". Totally badass, right? Anyway, Holly started pimping her hubs out in the blog world. BIG time. Home boy designs blogs. I'm talking in a "Pimp My Ride" but really "it's my blog so I don't need dubbs" (what the F$%@ are those anyway?), and "can you find the perfect shade of pink to offset "Georgia" font?" 

Sadly for him, I sent an email and went all OCD Blog-zilla on him. Bless. His. Heart. Dealing with me GUARANTEES you a spot in heaven, just ask my boyfriend - he's going to heaven, VIP, bottle of Cristal in one hand, pimp cane in the other, in a gold Hummer. Our initial exchange went something like this:

Me: I'd like my blog to reflect me (der) and contain some kick ass bling. But bling like "whoa", not bling like "bedazzle".  Oh, and I NEED a pin it button. And those effing adorable button like substances for my twitter and email. Winded yet, I'm just warming up. Kidding. Kinda.

HJ: Holly, call the cops

Jokes aside, Holly's husband did a AMAZEBALLS job making my blog sparkle and shine. TWICE. Cuz short hair can't follow directions and moments after he finished his blog fairy (manly) magic I went in and touched shit and jacked it up (sorry again HJ!). 

Go on, peruse around, and be sure to click all the "fancy button like substances". And "pin it". And tell your friends - too, I've got plenty of wine in the fridge, drinking with people doesn't constitute an intervention, right?. 

And since I just made you salivate with all this awesomeness, send Holly's husband some love and enlist his help on your blog. You know you want to.  But if you steal my perfect shade of pink that offsets my Georgia font - well those be fighting words and "I'll beat you like you stole something".  Cuz  I'm a gangsta that went to a private high school in St. Louis City...