Hold on to your hats, short hair is in rare form today. I apologize for this post in advance.

1.) It is 10:46 a.m and I have already lost my sh$t about five times. First, Miles (aka, Houdini) was perched on top of the grill hanging over the fence when I came downstairs this morning.  Which, compared to the little fucker escaping the yard TWICE yesterday is baby stepping in the right direction.  Meanwhile he has tested every fiber in my being, and surely the neighbors think I beat him. To which I say, "jump up my ass", you deal with his diva like ways for twenty minutes straight without wanting to commit suicide. 

2.) Arrive at work only to be bombarded with "why haven't you responded to "X"? Well, because I never received it?  How about that. After a shouting match (initiated by the prick IT dude who assumed I was a martian and didn't understand how attachments work), said email is heading my way for review - a week late and a dollar short. 

3.) During my self imposed "time out" yesterday due to the escape artist tactics (see #1) to keep myself from day drinking and missing speed work I put the dogs down for a nap, and started watching the documentary, "Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead" (full video - here).  It was - moving. I forget how grateful I am to not be plagued with illness, disease, or conditions. It was also empowering. My body is my temple, and should be treated that way. We all indulge in treats, but I think another juice cleanse (past cleanses - here, here) is in order - pronto. I haven't figured out the duration, but I plan to juice from the book, "3-Day Juice Cleanse" (the women behind Blueprint Cleanse) as I know it doesn't upset my sen-si-tive constituiton, plus I felt incredible - my skin was fresh-churned-butter soft. 
4.) In less than 10 minutes I'll be in fat girl heaven. I'm participating in another Hardee's taste test (their test kitchen is in my building).  This time? 1/3 Cheeseburgers. Three of them. And a cookie to say thank you. #ilovefood #getinmybelly #thankgoodnessivegotonstretchyfabric

5.) Iphone is officially ordered. In less than two weeks I'll join the real world again. And actually start posting more frequently on Instagram.  So you should follow me. Please and Spanx. 

6.) Speed work - my first day back from missing two weeks due to Hospital Hill (taper week, rest days). We did our "fastest" mile.  8:56? Not too shabby considering it was 90 + degrees outside and I'm still in race recovery mode.  After I hit up the Rehab tent to ask about my hip/pelvis issues (more - here) and found out it is not Piriformis like I google diagnosed myself, but ITB (IT band).  He recommended laying off the treadmill, foam rolling 24/7, and stretching. Then he said those fateful words - "you have weak glutes". WTH? Don't you know I'm in a fragile mental state (PMS'ing)? So after he paid me life's greatest compliment he starts stretching/pulling/contorting me to loosen my ITB. By George it worked.  My disdain for this poor fellow who told me I have crappy ass muscles, however, still beats strong...

Time to shove my face! 


Who wants to do a cleanse (you pick your own) with me? Bueller?


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